Hello and welcome back to Kinking Out Loud with me, Gothicc Hel. Today I want to talk about service submission. And yes, simply explained, service submission is exactly what it sounds like. Someone who enjoys servicing you as an act of submission. Believe it or not, there are different kinds of submission. and doing something as simple as taking out the trash or doing dishes or something like that for someone can be counted as service submission.
If you get joy out of doing things for your dominant, whether it’s something as simple as opening a car door, a door, or doing errands for them. You might not see that as an act of submission because it’s just doing general chores and doing something nice for your dominant. But if you really enjoy doing it for them and it gives you joy and maybe even pleasure to please your dominance and make their life easier, That is actually an act of submission, and some dominants, such as myself, greatly enjoy that kind of thing.
Submission doesn’t necessarily have to be a bedroom only thing. Service submission is called that because it’s like being in servitude of a dominant. A few other things that include being in servitude of a dominant might be… Domestic servitude, which mean that you may act like a maid, a butler, a housekeeper, a chauffeur.
Or maybe even a secretary. Anything goes really, as long as it’s in servitude of the dominant. Other kinds of kinks may be introduced while you’re doing service oriented submission, such as humiliation. For example, dressing up as a maid. with cat ears on, while your dominant kind of playfully makes fun of you for dressing like that.
Maybe you’ve enjoyed doing these kinds of tasks for your dominant, or just in general, and you’ve been thinking, oh, this is just something normal. This is just something I do. But you don’t realize that it’s actually an act of submission. That is perfectly okay, you don’t even have to label it, but if you’ve been wondering if this is something that counts as submission, then yes, indeed, it does.
Maybe even the most tedious Disgusting or boring task has brought you some kind of joy just because you know Completing that task will satisfy your dominant in some way or maybe you’ve done it for someone who isn’t even dominant But you just find you have some kind of pleasure from it Personally, I enjoy service submission, because it gives my subs something to do for me that is more than just sexual kink fulfilling.
It makes my life better in some way, and it makes me genuinely happy to give my subs something to do that makes them feel useful, and maybe even accomplished. All subs want to serve in some kind of way, whether it be sexual, or service based, or any way other. There are many types and forms of submission.
So, maybe the thought… Of completing a task for your dominant gives you genuine happiness and joy. Maybe a thought of doing something nice for your dominant is very, very appealing to you, and just doing anything that puts a smile on their face is something that you truly crave. Then congratulations! You might be a service sub.
So maybe you’re just dying to be told to wash someone’s floor. Maybe you really enjoy holding bags for women, or maybe you enjoy opening doors for someone, and you just can’t explain why. This might be a Part of the reason, this might be just the kind of submission you’ve been doing or enjoying, but you haven’t even realized that it is actually a form of submission.
Service submission can be very fulfilling for both sides. One side gets to do something useful for the dominant, and the dominant gets something useful done. But make sure that what you’re doing is actually something you’re capable and know what to do. Nothing is more annoying than having a sub trying to wash your things, wash your clothes and something, and completely fucking it up because they don’t know how to wash clothes.
Maybe they wash it on too warm settings. Maybe they don’t use detergent that’s right for it. Maybe they accidentally bleach your clothes. So instead of getting a task done and being free to do something else, the dominant now has to not only clean up or fix whatever it is the sub was supposed to do for them, they also have to apparently, maybe even punish them, and also show them how to do it properly.
If you want to be punished, Do not take on a task for your dominant and intentionally fuck it up unless it’s something you both agreed on is okay. For example, Brats can do this kind of thing. They can be told to do something and then either do it very slowly to intentionally piss their domme off, Or just do it wrong, or fuck it up completely, as long as it’s consented upon.
Brats can be into server submission too, but if you don’t know what a brat is, I’ll explain that later. So it’s very important that if you are a server sub and you’ve been told to do something by your dominant, don’t do it if you have no idea how to do it. Rather ask them, how do I do this properly? I’m not really sure how to do it.
Or even better, ask them genuinely. How do you want this done? Chances are the dominant is more than happy to explain to you exactly how they want you to do it. And chances also are that you will be even more happy to get direct and clear instructions. So you don’t fuck it up! Just remember, it’s very important to know where the line is.
Sometimes you want to be punished, so when you’re told to do something, especially if it’s service based, and you decide, like, I don’t want to do this properly because I wish to be punished in some way, and you fuck it up on purpose, if this wasn’t actually agreed upon before you were told to do something, for example, if the dominant did say, do this and do it right.
Or else you’re going to be punished, that, I see that as a clear invitation for you to either do it right and avoid being punished, or doing it wrong on purpose so you Get punished, but as always it’s very important to clearly communicate with your dominant For example, if you do want to get punished and do a bad job You don’t have to go outright and say so I’m going to do this badly and you’re gonna punish me, right?
You can be a lot more subtle than that You can, for example, ask them plainly, So, what are the consequences if I do this wrong, or if I don’t do it at all? A near dominant might actually tell you what kind of punishment you’re facing. And, depending on the type of relationship you have with them, Depending on what kind of punishment you do like, Maybe they’ll reply with something like, Oh, I’ll spank you really good.
Or maybe they’ll tell you, well, you’re going to write 100 lines. So maybe you like pain a lot, and the thought of being punished by being spanked really hard is appealing to you. Then, if the dominant knows that, that is an open invitation, in my opinion, to fuck it up. You don’t have to fuck it up just because the punishment is appealing, but it’s probably an option.
But if you hate the punishment, that is a very, very clear indication that don’t fuck it up, because then you’ll regret it. Also, in my opinion, when it comes to rewards, many subs consider being able to do something like that for their dominant a reward in and of itself. And getting praise might be just icing on the cake.
That’s okay. And sometimes you might even get a bigger reward for doing something. Maybe you have a chore board. Of all the chores you have to do that day. And maybe the dominant is going to be very pleased with what you’re doing and consider it a good job and give you a big reward. Sometimes that happens.
Depends all on your relationship with your domme. But! In my opinion, service submission should be offered because you want to do something for the dominant, and not because you expect something in return. Because I think service submission should be selfless in the nature. But that is just my opinion.
Depending on your dynamic with your dominant, You can have whatever kind of relationship you want as long as you communicate it clearly. Maybe you are the kind of person who do something for someone and then you expect something in return. That is completely fine. I respect that. It’s allowed and there’s no shame in it.
But you have to communicate that once with your dominance. You have to tell them clearly. I want to do things for you, but I do expect to get rewarded. In most cases, almost all cases, the dominant will agree that, yeah, that’s fair. So if you do this for me, what kind of reward are you expecting in return?
That is usually a question that comes up when you have that kind of discussion. And it is very important to have that kind of discussion up front. This especially applies if the dynamic is brand new. And you can absolutely do something nice for your dominant without being asked, but it’s very important that you don’t expect anything in return for it if you do.
It’s like giving someone a gift and expecting something in return. And that comes off as kind of selfish. But that is actually how I view service based submission, and submission in general. It is a gift, and it’s something that you give your dominant. Just be sure that the person who receives that gift, in this case, the dominant, is actually worthy of that gift.
Make sure they actually deserve it and appreciate it. It’s very important that you remember that nobody is entitled to your submission and nobody should just get it just because they’re dominant. And I always say, my dominance is earned. It’s not something you should take for granted. But the same goes for submission.
A dominant has to earn and show that they’re worthy of your submission. It goes both ways. But don’t go out and expect that the dominant is going to prove to you right off the bat that they are worthy of your submission. That’s not how it works. It’s a two way street. You both have to work at it, you both have to build trust, and you both have to figure out what you like.
Like I’ve said, I like service based But that doesn’t mean I’ll take advantage or let someone do some chores or tasks for me just because. I don’t take advantage like that. And I also think that service submission is something they’ll have to earn too. Yes, you’ll have to earn to be allowed to serve me.
In that way. No, I will not let you take out my trash or do anything of the sort for me unless you prove to me that you’re capable of doing it and I can trust you as a submissive. And you might think, What? You must be crazy. Someone is offering to wash your house, take out your trash, or drive you places.
You should take up on that. That is crazy. No, it’s not really. It’s still a form of submission and dominance, and it’s still a form of kinky play, and it has to be treated like that. You get something out of it, and I would too, but it’s not something I would let just anyone do. And there’s no shame in offering your servitude to someone you just met.
Just make sure you actually ask first. A polite way of asking someone would be… Is there anything I could do for you, Miss/Mistress/Goddess, whatever kind of honorifics they go by. Just remember, like I’ve said before, make sure you’ve actually gotten permission to use honorifics. If you haven’t gotten to that stage yet, Don’t use honorifics, just ask them plain up front if there’s anything I can do for you.
And remember, it might be very weird for someone, even a dominant, to have a complete stranger ask them if there’s anything they can do. Because the first thing that would pop into my mind would be… This person probably has a hidden agenda. What do they want in return? That’s why it’s very important you tell them:
“Hey, I like service submission, and I don’t want anything in return.is there anything I can do for you? No strings attached, I just really want to do something for you”. Chances are, if you’re honest like that, they either will tell you, No, there’s nothing you can do for me, or maybe you’re lucky and they give you a task to do. It all boils down to communication, of course, like it’s always about.
BDSM is always about communication. Open, honest communication, drawing limits, and being safe. Being sure your partner knows where your boundaries are and you knowing where their boundaries are. Service based submission is a wonderful thing, in my opinion. It’s just very crucial to remember, even though you love doing that for someone, even though you love being of service for a dominant, it’s extremely important to communicate and talk and discuss, so you know what they want and what you don’t want.
And if you do expect something in return for your servitude, be sure to communicate that very clearly with your dominant, so they know where you stand. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of Kinking Out Loud. I’ll see you next time.