I keep hearing about this unwritten rule, that Dommes can’t message a sub first. She gets stapled an instadomme and shunned for “hunting pigs”. But isn’t this a little unnecessary? I don’t usually pm subs first, but what if there’s a sub that’s perfect for me, and he’s too shy to speak? Or simply slips between the cracks before I have time to talk to him? And not to mention that as dominant women, we have the right and ability to message a sub first. I find it a little bit..
off putting, that the choice is exclusively left to the sub. It’s a two way choice, in which both sides have to want to choose each other. And why is it such a crime suddenly, to be the one to initiate first contact? I understand it looks bad, as if someone could get ahead that way with a sub by starting private contact. But I’d imagine to announce that you’re going to pm a sub, would still be frowned upon. But in the end, we’re all people. Not property. So I honestly think it’s time to do whatever you want, within the accepted frames of course. If you really feel a connection and think a particular sub is great for you, why should you flash your peacock feathers hoping he is focused enough to want him to pm you? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I understand the overwhelming majority of Dommes versus subs but still, you should have the freedom and right to “hunt” a sub that’s an exception to the rule of not pming subs. I’m not saying I do this, but I’m saying we shouldn’t be hunting Dommes like witches that do this (unless she pms a clearly owned sub.) And instead be open and honest with our intentions.