I’ve been actively practicing findom for well over a year now. And during my time I meet a lot of people who think FinDom is some kind of scam, a manipulative way to exploit weak people and only practiced by money hungry Dommes with no actual interest in BDSM or fetishes. I’m not about to lie and say there’s not people in the community who are like that, but a few bad apples are given in any community. But for those who are actually into this fetish, it’s not as evil and exploiting as you think. Let’s start with the basics. FinDom is a fetish, just like footfetish, but instead of being sexually turned on by feet, it’s money, very simply explained. Does this mean I get wet when I see a 100$ Bill? No, the money itself isn’t sexually arousing. But the power exchange through money is. It’s a huge fetish, in which humiliation and Domination is the main components of it. Money is the highest valued thing in our economically obsessed society, and giving it to someone who is far superior to you in a desperate attempt to please, by satisfying their fetish, is the Dominating in itself. And since money is involved, people will always be sceptical. They will say our ways of practicing findom is exploitative and manipulative. But nobody who exercises Findom in a safe manner ever forces anyone to pay. Everyone who practices the fetish is adult, who are informed and can make their own decision about their sexuality, body and money. And you might think, from the outside, that it looks inherently abusive in nature, because of such terms as “fuck you pay me”, “paypig”, “pay to get my attention” etc. But most Dommes have a deep and complex relationship with the men who pay them. He Pays, and in return she might cater to his fetishes (through practicing her own, of course) And with that comes aftercare, communication, and sometimes a deep bond develops. And just like any personal relationship, these intimate details are kept between the two people. It greatly benefits both parties, as the Domme gets her fetishes and kinks satisfied, plus the added benefit of being paid, and the submissive gets a healthy relationship with a safe space to practice and explore his own fetishes. He may also feel useful and happy to contribute positively to his Dommes life. Win-win situation. And of course, the ones that complain the most about having to pay, simply don’t understand why. The Dommes who have been doing this for several years, have plenty experience. Experience which they should rightfully be compensated for.

“Dommes who love Femdom and fetish would do it for free”. Are you sure? I love cooking food, so I became a Chef. Does my love for food diminish because I chose to make a profit while  practicing what I love? If I made no money by cooking, I’d have to get another job to survive and I would have less time to cook. And that would make me sad and unhappy, having to do something other than what I love, because someone said my passion shouldn’t be profitable. Put it like that, you might see things differently. Many Findommes have multiple income streams and don’t rely on the subs. Which is the big difference between Findom and begging. A FinDomme can afford to turn a subs money down if she doesn’t think he’s worthy. She will not jump on every chance to get paid. She will not harrass or beg subs to pay her. She will not force anybody to pay her. She doesn’t want, nor need to as the ratio for subs to Dommes are skewed. There’s a dime a doze, literally. So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed.

 

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