You’ve most likely already experienced it before. That feeling you get after an intense session, or even a gentle one, caused by the endorphin high you experienced during sub space. Unfortunately, very often, after a cloud nine stay in submissive heaven, you eventually have to drop out of those fluffy clouds. Sometimes you may not even know you’re experiencing sub drop.
Here are some signs and symptoms of sub drop:
- Sadness, crying
- Mood swings
- Sensitive to small inconveniences
- Body aches
- Feeling insecure and clingy
- Apathy, feeling indifferent
- Shame & guilt
- Stomach aches
- Easily upset, agitated, irritated
- Craving for sweets
This is just a list of some of the possible signs and symptoms of a sub drop. Everyone experiences it differently. The only thing that is in common for all, if not most of those who experience sub drop, is that it’s not a good experience. It’s the equivalent to a hangover, but involving BDSM instead of alcohol.
So how do you deal with it? First and foremost, get some decent aftercare. A Dominant who doesn’t include aftercare, is not an ethical, responsible one. Secondly; tell your Dominant. You might think “I don’t want to be a burden” or “It would just inconvenience them”. NO. no, no, no! Your Dominant was there during the scene. Your Dominant was (hopefully!) there for your aftercare. They’re just as responsible for your health and safety after a session, as they are during it. However, your Dominant isn’t a mind-reader. Sub drop can go from mild to severe, and it’s up to you to communicate with your Dominant about your feelings and needs. A good Dominant will happily help you through it.
What are some of the things you and your Dominant can do together or separately to ease or prevent sub drop? Here’s a few tips!
What to do immediately after sessions:
- Chocolate or sweets. Yes, it can work wonders!
- Treat wounds and injuries carefully.
- Warm blanket, stuffies, & pillows
- Cold compress/hot water bottle
- Cold or warm shower, or a bath.
- Hugs, cuddles and kisses!
However, sometimes after aftercare, you may still experience the harsh symptoms of sub drop. So here are a few things to do that may help for the various emotional states you go through:
If you feel depressed, sad or lonely:
- Wrap yourself up in a blanket and watch your favourite series
- Write your negative feelings and thoughts on a piece of paper and tear it up
- Listen to a song you feel is uplifting and happy
- Write a comforting letter to the part of you that feels sad and alone
- Cuddle a pet, soft toy, duvet or pillow.
- Hang out with a good friend, call them or play s game together.
If you feel dissociative or spaced out:
- Chew on a piece of ginger, chili or pepper
- Clap your hands, thighs, or butt and notice the stinging sensation
- Drink a glass of ice cold water, or chew on an ice cube
If you feel angry, frustrated or irritated:
- Rip up a newspaper or magazine
- Hit a pillow
- Throw ice cubes in the bathtub/shower so they smash
- Do vigorous exercise
- Listen to loud music
- Do something practical, clean, gardening, or laundry
If you feel anxious, panicked or nervous:
- Make yourself a hit drink, drink it slowly, notice the taste, smell shape of the mug and the weight and feeling of it in your hands.
- Take ten deep breaths, counting every single one out loud
- Write as much as you can about where you are, such as the date, time, colours of the walls, furniture, windows, & doors.
- Take a warm bath/shower – this may change your mood by creating a soothing, relaxing atmosphere, and a distracting physical sensation.
I truly hope this helps you deal with sub drop, and this may be a helpful guide next time you and your Dominant decide to play.