There’s a slight problem in today’s society. And that is that we generally don’t treat sexworkers as human beings. When I say we, I mean the general vanilla population. The ones who aren’t veterans in the bdsm or kink communities. The ones who are curious and want to try bdsm or power exchange, and their only reference is pornsites. So, yes they may not be too familiar with how to approach for example a professional dominatrix, a camgirl, an escorte, etc. These are people who contact sexworkers with inappropriate pictures of genitals or links to hardcore porn and say “I want to do that to you”.

Not thinking about how that looks to the person on the other side. Yes, we do sell sex and sexual favours, but that’s no way to talk to someone you don’t know.  And the daily abusive messages we endure from total strangers, who we didn’t allow to abuse or pressure us into doing something we’re not comfortable with. All of a sudden, we’re dirty, slutty, bitchy whores who should kill ourselves. Yes, I get death threats a lot. Because I will not be used. I will not be anyone’s toy. I will not cater to your needs, unless they are my needs firstly. And yes, this happen to women all the time, not only to sexworkers or not, but I have seen both sides. And some people are downright unpleasant to deal with. And especially one kind. The wellknown kind. The kind that contacts a professional, that knows well, that the professional charges money for her skills just like they do. They come into your workplace and ask for freebies. For trialperiods. For free sessions. Free Clips/pics/cam/phone. For free time.  And the excuses are always the same. “I was scammed by another”, “I am new and I was hoping you’d not charge”, “I am handsome/good looking so I shouldn’t have to pay”, “I have a big dick so I shouldn’t have to pay”, “I don’t get paid until ____, so please give me a freebie and I’ll pay later”. Have I forgotten some? Probably. But those are the classics. And it’s honestly equally insulting each and every time someone thinks we’re stupid, and gullible enough to believe these dumbass excuses. Not to mention thinking of themselves as too good to pay someone for their skills and time. That is the exact equivalent to waling into a restaurant and asking the head chef if you can have the kobe beef for free, because you don’t think he should be paid for his skills. And what’ll happen is that you’ll get thrown out and never get to try that delicious beef. So before you try insulting someone by dehumanizing them and saying their skills aren’t good enough to be paid for, ask yourself how you’d feel if someone did that exact thing to you.

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