Abuse is not a joke. It’s not a mistake you make, nor something you do just once. Abuse is constant, intentional and meant to control the victim. Not only that, abuse has serious long term effects on people. Repeated abuse can and will lead to brain damage, PTSD, irreversible harm, both physical and mental, anxiety, depression, guilt, fear, and even suicide or death. Abuse comes from a malicious need to control and dominate the victim. And more often than not, the victim doesn’t know it’s happening before it’s too late. When it comes to emotional abuse, most people are in disbelief when they hear about abuse happening. They often say “but they’re so nice!” Or “They’ve never abused me!” And other things. The thing is, when it comes to abuse, an abuser is not a shitty person everyone hates. They wouldn’t get the chance to hide their abuse if they were awful people. Of course, it’s incredibly easy to believe that the person who’s hostile, rude and crass is an abuser. Of course. But what about the kind, supportive, incredibly charming person? No, I didn’t think so. That’s how abuse happens. It doesn’t start right away. The abuser wants the victim to like them. To feel safe. To feel loved. To get emotionally attached to them. Because, that way manipulating them is a lot easier, don’t you think? Consider it like boiling a frog. If you put a frog in boiling water, it will most likely jump out. If you put a frog in cold water and gradually turn up the heat, the frog will slowly boil alive, not noticing the heat until it’s too late. Same thing with people who have been a victim of abuse. It happens slowly, over time.

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